Apr 192016

Sketch inspired by illustrations in Caitlin Matthews Celtic Wisdom Tarot

I’m a Healer.  That’s what it says on my business cards.  That’s what everyone calls me.  It’s a catch all for the different modalities I’ve been drawn to over the last 20-some years. But…

I wrestle with that moniker every single day.  See, the thing is, I’m not a Healer.  I don’t heal you, you do.

Your choice to come and see me is where it starts. YOU make the decision to take responsibility for your own wellbeing.  That changes your vibration. That is the beginning of your healing.

Then, together, we decide which healing technique you’d like to engage with – Sound, Reiki, Reiki Drum, Shamanic, Intuitive – and my signature Holistic Alchemy session, where we come up with a special blend of all of them just for you.  The big thing that no-one tells you is that it’s YOU doing the healing, not me. I foster the conditions, the environment, the supportive vibration, the energy – whatever you want to call it, but you do the healing. You do the work, you transmute, you change – I just create the space for you to do it in.

I’ve had some really great results lately – people forgetting to take their regular pain killers because they just don’t hurt all that much any more. People who have chronic pain saying they’ve been able to cope better. Ancestral baggage evaporating in the drying silent tears of sweet agony and loss – transformed by love and a willingness to do the work it takes to heal the big stuff.

This is my work. I want to get down on my hands and knees and be with you whilst you heal the stuff that is weighing you down.  I’m not afraid of the dark.  I’m not precious about getting my hands dirty.  I make space for the light, the love and the truly benevolent energy of the cosmos to fill you up and start to nourish the places in you that are starved for love, blood, endorphins and oxytocin.

And when you leave the sanctuary of the healing space, you leave a little different. Still healing, still doing the work.  YOU. In all of your awesome potential, and in that moment I love you – your courage, your determination.  It’s beautiful and a privilege.

So, I am no healer.  I put my feet on the ground, touch the earth, create sacred space, offer you sanctuary.  And then, in the stillness of my own sanctuary, I go back to trying to find a different word to communicate what it is that I’m doing whilst you’re healing yourself.

Jun 092015

kotodamaI had the most beautiful day on Sunday.  In a village hall in Hertfordshire, beautiful energy workers met and spent the day toning and chanting the Reiki Kotodama and other sacred chants.  The space for this gorgeous day was created by Sarah Gregg of Reiki Drum.  I recently took the next step on my Reiki journey with Sarah, becoming a Reiki Master Teacher/Shinpiden. The Kotodama were part of that course and it was an instant kind of love.  I have already incorporated toning into my daily practice, and the kotodama are a powerful addition to that, but they also have begun to play a part in my self healing and are slowly being integrated into my healing work with clients.

Kotodama (spirit of the words) are the sacred sounds used with the traditional Usui Reiki energies.  They are a full body energy experience, you not only bring in the energy as a channel as you would normally during a Reiki session, but you feel the vibration of the word spirit in your body, in your chest, in your throat and head.  When you are fully embodied in your practice, you somehow become more than just a channel for the energy, you become the amplifier, the speaker – an integrated transmission system – and it’s truly awesome.

We spent the day working and playing with the energies, getting to know them, using the sounds in different ways to facilitate huge shifts in ourselves and in each other.  The more I use them, the more I know that I am on the right path with the vocal and sonic element of the healing work that I’m doing.

I have so much love and gratitude in my heart for the teachers who have helped me to put my feet back on this road.  I lost my way there for a while, silenced my voice, and made myself small.  No sound, no waves, no impact.  I get that now.  Thank you, to the wonderful women who are supporting me – my Vixen sisters, My heart-sister and Holistic Goddess, Sarah and Kay, and my doula family.  Thank you to my family, those of blood and of my heart, who continue to love and hold me as this evolution and re-wilding unfolds.